Life is Crazy

The next three weeks are going to fly by.

*9 days- 18th Birthday

*22 days- Graduation

I never though graduation would come when I started my senior year. The year drug on till we hit Christmas... Once we came back in January there was so much to do and so little time.. before I knew it, we are 22 days away! 

I am excited to go to college... I think....

I have everything ready and I am ready to start the new chapter in my life.. I think....

April 7th everything changed..... It was Evan's 20th birthday. I decided I would text him a simple "Happy Birthday" message... We planned to hangout that evening.. I showed up at his house and it seemed like nothing had changed... I still loved him as much as the day we said goodbye.. 

Things are going well now.. We are happy and love each other more and more each day. I am so glad that we figured things out.. Being without him wasn't easy...

I am so ready for summer.... I want to make the most of my summer... It is the first summer where I am truly free... No camps or leagues to take up my time.... I am so ready to have one hell of a summer! 

Time is flying by and I am so lucky to face this crazy life hand in hand with Ev... <3 

I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Rachel Hanson. Thank you for the nomination. I am glad to know that someone reads my posts. 

To answer your questions...

1) Why did you start blogging?

~I started blogging because my best friend started. I though it would be a new and fun thing. Turns out I love how easy it is for me to put my feelings onto a page.

2) Who inspires you the most and why?

~Everyone answers this question with "my mom" or "my grandma", but that isn't the case for me. Those people are very inspirational, but one of the most inspirational people in my life is my best friend. She never gives up and always pushes me to do my best. I can tell her anything and I know my secret is safe with her. Thanks for everything!

3) What is your favorite movie/genre? 

I love "The Notebook" and "The Lucky One", but I absolutely love comedies!

4) Where do you want to visit most and why?

~I would have to say Europe as a whole. I have always say pictures and thought about everywhere is beautiful. So if anyone would like to loan me the money to go... :) 

5) What is your favorite book/genre?

~I love to read. When I find a good book I find it very hard to put it down. I love historical fiction along with mysteries.

6) What questions do you hate to answer?

~I hate answering questions about college. I feel like people want to know everything about our college decisions just so they can judge you. 

7) What is the weirdest thing you have ever done?

~The weirdest thing I have done is probably making faces at vehicles while driving down the interstate.

8) If you could create one thing what would it be?

~I would create a machine that you pushed a button on and were totally in shape and tan. :)

9) Describe yourself in 3 words. 

~Smart, obnoxious, weird

10) What is your favorite food?

~Pizza and Pop Tarts all the way!

11) What is one thing you hate to spend money on?

~I hate spending money on clothes. They are super expensive.

The rules for Liebster Award :

1. Thank the person who nominated you

2. Answer the questions given by the nominator

3. Nominate another 11 bloggers (with 200 or less followers) and link them

4. Create 11 new questions for the nominees to answer

5. Notify all nominees by social media/blogs

My nominations and questions are in the comments.

Making Up Time

...Happiness...

Happiness, a tearm that can mean so many things to so many people. 

We always seem to judge those for doing the things that make them happy.

We all do different things to keep us happy.

Just be happy and forget everyone else.

...Date Night..

I went to supper with someone I never thought would be more than just a friend, or maybe even just an acquaintance. 

Turns out maybe there could be more. I smile and laugh with him. I can be myself and forget the world. He doesn't judge me which means a lot to me.

I want to take things slow, but spending time with him is definitely something I love.

...Money...

College = $$$$ 

and lots of it

My family is struggling with money.... This is pretty much a first for us. We have always had money and not had to stress about it. I think this is hitting me hard, because this year I really got the perspective of how much money is actually worth. I pray that we will make it through without to many complications. 

...Faith...

My faith keeps me grounded. When I was confirmed into my church it brought me closer to God. I love being able to take my problems to him. I feel a sense of security and love, because I know I am saved. 

I have done a lot of reading in my Bible. 

I have highlighted multiple verses that stick out to me. 

I am so glad I open my heart to The Lord. It was the best decision I ever made. 

...Sports...

Tonight is the district finials game. We are facing a tough opponent.

I do believe that we can win. I have heart and most of the others on the team do as well. 

I am blessed to play under such a wonderful coach all through my high school career.

He is like my second dad. Our families are close and would never trade that. 

I really hope that we can make an appearance at state this year. It will be a wonderful experience. 

Tonight I will give it my all and leave my heart on the court.  

I Have A Secret...

So a few weeks ago, a random user added me on snapchat. I like to make friends, so I didn't think anything of it. That may or may not be an issue. This person, let's call this person x. X and I have been talking since.I have always wanted a stranger to talk about my life to. This is nice. 
The problem with this, is that x is 8 years older than me. X isn't attractive. However X is very sweet and caring. X is easy to talk to. X seems to want more than just a random friendship.. This could be bad. I would be judged. If I don't act, no big deal right? But then there is the thought of what if X is "the one..." 

Well This Sucks

We are two days into this week and I am already over it. Yesterday, EVERYTHING annoyed me. If somebody looked at me wrong, I almost lost it. It was one of those days where i was .5 seconds from losing it. Basketball usually puts me in a good mood, but not yesterday. Practice sucked. It took a major turn for the worse when I was informed that Levi bringing me ice cream wasn't his idea. It was two of my "friends" ideas. I'm sure why, but it really upset me when he went to them about me being upset. He then apologized over and over. I fell asleep watching "Friends", my addiction. 

When I woke up this morning, I was hoping for a great day. I plugged my phone into my speaker and began to jam. I did my makeup and my hair. I was feeling good. I got dressed, packed my bag for the game today, and headed to my car. Everything was great till I got to school. Levi brought me an "I'm sorry" breakfast. It was a great breakfast, but he can't buy my forgiveness. 

I am not entirely sure why I am so upset lately, maybe it is because Levi is very clingy. Maybe it is because people piss me off. Or maybe its the senioritus kicking in. I'm not sure, but all I do know is that I am ready to graduate and get the hell out of here and get to Chadron! 

2015

Well it's graduation year. FINALLY! May 9th will be here before I know it. A lot has changed since the beginning of the year. Evan and I are no longer together. This wasn't a total shock to me. We had been fighting a lot and things just never seemed to work. I have kept myself busy with school and sports to keep my mind off of him. I mean I still miss him, but that normal right.
I have been hanging out with my friends a lot lately. It is fun and I realize how much I miss them. I am headed to Life in Color in February and I am so excited. I also have a date to the Sweetheart dance. His name is Levi and I like him a lot! He is a sweet and funny. He puts me first. The best part about him is that he is super supportive of my decision to go to Chadron in the fall!
I am trying to stay closer to God this year. It is because of him that I am here. I know he has a plan and that everything happens for a reason.

Until next time...always remember...your feelings matter to someone...
~Autumn

Too Good To Be True

Everything was perfect. We were happy. Then I decided to tell him how I feel. You may think that means I told him I loved him and wanted to spend my life with him, but no. I told him how I didn't feel important, loved, wanted or any of that anymore. That was apparently a bad idea, because things aren't the same. We got in a fight and he said he was done. He changed his mind and here we are. In tears while he is off doing whatever  I show him I care and get nothing. I try to show him how much he means to me and I get nowhere. I though it was meant to be, but maybe I was wrong. Love sucks. That's all there is to it. I tell myself I deserve better, yet I don't want to end it because I love him. I'm beyond confused and heart broken. I just wish that things would get easier or at least some two way effort...

Until later... Always remember... Your feelings matter to someone.

~Autumn